Heathers Wiki

54 Sings Heathers @ Feinstein’s 54 Below “You're Welcome” Celeste Rose Dan DeLuca Evan Todd

You’re Welcome is an alternate version of Blue used in high school prouductions and the UK Off Broadway version.


.V: Dear diary, what words do we use to defuse a suitor with the brains of a boot and the morals of a looter?

The rational play is to dash and call it a day but these trash, they’re like a car crash – you can’t look away.

K: Hey there girl, avoid this fool, he tries to play cool while he’s dribbling drool.

R: Just trying to say in a friendly way that you’ve gotten hotter like every day

K: OW!!

R: Hey there girl, avoid this punk, he’s hungry for a hunk of the junk in your trunk

K: There is no lie, that dog won’t try, when a tasty treat like you walks by, cause

K/R: once you were geeky and nerdy, now you’re flirty, freaky, and dirty

K: You were nothing and nobody...

R: ...but now you’re good enough to

K/R: get with me! HUH!

You’re welcome, look where you are

You’re welcome, you’ve won football star!

You’re welcome, you can be my queen

The gasoline to my love machine

You’re welcome.

V: How do you get through to a pair of suitors who are circling like drunk circus bears on scooters?

Ram: Come back girl, now don’t play hurt,

If you don’t want me starin’, why you wearin’ that skirt?

K: We can’t be tamed and we can’t be blamed

It’s all your fault that we’re inflamed!

K/R: Cause once, you were grody and grotty

R: Now you’ve got a body like a Maserati!

R and K: Stroke my fur, make me purr-

K: Hey! You wanted to be

R and K: popular!

K: Hit me!


You’re welcome, look where you are

You’re welcome, come get your football star

You’re welcome, you can be my queen

The gasoline to my love machine

You’re welcome.

V: Well, it’s getting late.

R: You’re welcome in my lap, welcome on my knee,

K: Well, come on and get grabby in the grass with me!

V: Is this a test or a jest? Either way, I’m underdressed.

A Kevlar vest and a Taser would be best.

K: I’ll steal your heart like a thief,

R: Give you sweet relief,

K: Call me Wendy cause you never wonder

K/R: ‘where’s the beef?’

V: Before we hit that stage where they give into their id, better borrow a page from the Karate Kid!



V: Smile and stay friendly, don’t yell or beg, don’t spark a fire near a powder keg!

Just gently, semi-accidentally sweep the leg.

K: Ah! I fell in a mud-puddle!

R: Gross! What’d you do that for?

That’s not so nice!

V: Nicer than calling the cops. You’re welcome

R: Damn, I think I’m stuck!

You’re welcome

K: This states got me real sunk

You’re welcome

Hey girl, it’s no big thing, come try a little MUD WRESTLING!!!

You’re welcome, come and jump right in!

You’re welcome, rub it on your skin!

You’re welcome, baby what’s that smell?

V: Manure?

K: No, it’s the smell of me loving you well!

V: Swell.

R: No, I be loving you well

V: See you in hell!

K: No, I be loving you well

R: No, I be-

K: I be-

Loving, loving, loving, loving, loving you well!

K, R, V: You’re welcome!

You’re welcome!

You’re welcome!